he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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