I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
