the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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