Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
