i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
