Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
