This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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