just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize