The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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