Me. At least after what I've been through.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
