Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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