I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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