I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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