Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
