Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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