Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
