i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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