Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
