i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
