its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
