One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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