are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize