I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
