Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
