At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
