i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
