I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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