dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
