I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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