what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
