Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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