I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my shit smells like andre
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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