I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
