In the future we'll all be gay
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
me + whiskey = a bad person
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
