im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
