i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
