If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize