Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize