Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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