i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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