If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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