In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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