If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
