I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
