I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
