just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
