We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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