what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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