Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
