you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
