Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
And then he peed in my hair
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
