I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
should my penis look like a turkey
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want nice things and good sex
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
