One girl and one boy is just not enough.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently you make a good broom.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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