So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
