Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
