Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
