So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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