i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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