HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
