I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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