so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
