you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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