My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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