if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Congratulations! We have a period
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
