I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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