I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
