I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
